I’m not sure if this was depression but the closest experience I went through was the break up or process of the break up of my two-year relationship back in the fifth to sixth grade. This “boyfriend” of mine in the fifth grade was also my best boy childhood friend. We grew up knowing one another but we stopped talking to each other for two years.
One day in the fifth grade, my friend presented me with a gift and asked me the question, “Will you be my girlfriend?” I said sure, but didn’t really give him any attention. But for two years, we grew closer. Just when I thought we would last, everything went downhill.
Toward the end of sixth grade year, he started acting weird. I found out he was cheating. I for a long time ignored it and cried all alone not letting anyone know. We didn’t talk for a long time, but I just couldn’t build courage to break it off.
The summer came and I suffered alone for two months. I had so many questions, like what happened to us, what went wrong, what did I do? I finally asked my brother and he told me how my “boyfriend” didn’t want to hurt me.
So I was really sad for two months because this little boy didn’t have guts, but oh well, I’m okay now and I have someone awesome in my life, my hunnie boo. I love him and he healed by past.
Live Through It
I look down. I feel tired. You say hi. I look up, wave, look down, walk away. What’s my feeling, depression. Yep. Depression.
I know everyone has been depressed before, or if not, weird, but they will experience it. It’s so hard to describe and it feels like hopelessness and sadness. I’ve had plenty of those times and I’ll get them more as time progresses.
Man, I just want to kill myself when depression strikes but why take a precious life away? Even if it feels like it’s not wanted? Depression can come in many forms, shapes and sizes for me. A relationship can hit hard and turn into depression. The stress builds up and being treated so badly and getting hurt makes it hard and depressing.
Personally, for me, I love my girl and she makes me the happiest guy in the world, but she can also make me cry like a baby. I guess I love her too much and I’m too sensitive but one little word can set me off. I guess it’s just hurt and sadness but I call it depression. It’s depression because I feel that way for a very long period of time. It doesn’t go away.
I hate it but for me, depression is a good thing because I cry my eyes out and that takes so much stress out. I’m happy afterwards. I know it’s a bad thing but depression is a pain reliever and so I like it. Yeah, it’s weird, but it’s my thing.
Really though, depression should not be taken lightly. People kill themselves over it but I know I won’t. It’s just another state of life, just life. Just live through it. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself, live through it, face it, solve it, live.
-Yee Leng, 16